|
|
South of Nowhere - Second Season
I admit, I am about a decade older than the intended age group of this show. However, I am an unabashed fan of the show and I will wholeheartedly support it until it betrays me similarly to The L Word. As soon as the main lesbian couple breaks up, I am out of here. Hopefully, they'll make it the entire season so I don't have to quit in the middle. Tom Lynch, don't be a bastard. Spencer and Ashley are all I have! Oh god, how pitiful is that?
There is a new character to introduce and that would be Kyla (Eileen Boylan), who is Ashley's newly found sister. I noticed something interesting in the credits for the new Season. Besides a new title song, Kyla is on the the cast list, while Chelsea still is not. Will she not be around next season? Will she even finish out this season? I'm hoping she sticks around, I really like her character.
For those who would like to catch up with the episodes, the first season and all current episodes are available on iTunes. You know I normally wouldn't pimp out iTunes, but since the-n.com only plays this season's online, you have to go somewhere.
The Morning After:
Did Spencer and Ashley get it on like we all imagined? Of course, there were some that said they wouldn't sleep together so quickly after their first kiss. There was like, what, under a minute between the two events? However, considering how bloody long they have been flirting and visually (and probably mentally) sexing up each other, I would not have been surprised if the first kiss happened while they both fell to the bed, hands in each others shirts. This is the-n though, we won't see the actual action, so until now, it was all conjecture. This episode better answer the obvious question.
We're in Ashley's bedroom where we see Spencer sleeping in an empty bed. Oh my, did Ashley hit and run, already? Spencer's eyes flutter open and not seeing Ashley, calls out her name. Before she can finish her sentence, Ashley is at her side holding two mugs.
Ashley: Are you alright with everything that happened last night with us?
Ashley's smile turns from happiness to worry when Spencer puts her head down on the comforter, saying nothing. Ashley scoots over to find out what the problem is and starts to caress her hair and call her "so beautiful".
Spencer: Stop. I'm okay, it's just it's a big deal and I want it to be for you too.
Ashley: It is.
Spencer: When I woke up this morning and you weren't here next to me, for a second, I thought it was a dream.
Ashley: I know. I didn't even want to get out of bed. I just wanted to shut out the world a little bit longer.
Spencer: Come back.
But oh no, our intrepid Ashley has much more willpower than I will ever have, so instead, she tells Spencer that perhaps she should check her phone for the zillions of messages waiting for her. Considering Glen's knee, Clay's mom, Arthur's drinking, and Paula cheating; none of those messages are going to be happy ones. Stomp on your phone and get Ashley back into bed.
Spencer comes dashing into Glen's hospital room where he's clicking his morphine button so quickly you'd think the dude was on Jeopardy. Considering none of The Carlins could be located in Glen's time of need, the blame game begins. According to each, Clay was studying with Sean and fell asleep, Glen was playing a basketball game all by himself (during which he fell and tore his ACL), Arthur was home, Paula had a late shift, and Spencer, well, Spencer was hanging out with Ashley and Aiden. Even though she tried to soften the blow with Aiden's name, Paula still gets upset. Spencer cuts her off before she can go off on a tirade about the evils of "that girl". Thanks to the lie flashback, we get to see Spencer and Ashley kissing while horizontal, although they are still mostly clothed. Sadly, even though they are closed, it's being shot in dimness, and you only get two little pecks; that clip makes me tingly.
In Aiden's bedroom, Madison is explaining to Aiden how important she is and how vital she is to Aiden. She tells him she was just trying to make Glen jealous. Aiden seems to want her to shut the hell up now that he got to score. She goes on and on about how could they look together. Aiden stifles a yawn, I'm not as lucky.
Spencer and Ashley are sitting on a park bench about to process last night. If the previous conversation with them did not cinch the fact that they did get it on, this one will.
Spencer: Last night. Was I... okay?
Ashley: Yeah, you were.
Spencer: Thanks. I'll get better I promise.
Ashley: Shut up! It's not like I have had that much experience. Okay, that's a lie. But it's different with everybody and it's great with you.
Spencer: Okay. Really?
Instead of prattling on about prowess and technique, Ashley invites Spencer to her Once-a-Year Special Daddy Dinner. Even though Ashley may have made her sound like a less than competent lover somewhere in there, Spencer looks completely smitten at being asked to meet Ashley's dad.
Okay, I don't know which one of their bells equals class time, release time, start time; so I am going to go with the release time bell. School's done for the day and as they are walking, Spencer tries to hold Ashley's hand. Ashley stops her saying that she's out and doesn't care what people think, while Spencer could still get a lot of crap about it. Spencer, a little crestfallen, agrees. Ashley then decides she is having a regression therapy flashback when she sees Aiden and Madison talking to one another. Why she seems so caught up on Aiden's relationships/friendships better not be explained as her still wanting him back. Madison and Ashley snipe until Madison gets bored of it and leaves.
We're in the Carlin house and Spencer is getting ready for her date with Ashley and her father. Paula says that she looks beautiful, although something is different about her. Calling in the fact that she will be chaperoned (She leaves out that the dad is a raving loon.) gets Paula off her back.. for now.
On the roof of the penthouse, I guess. A lavish table is set out and Spencer, Ashley, and her father are all laughing and having a good time. Mouths are open in riotous laughter, Spencer learns to play air guitar and then they all rock out. There is also a talk about Ashley being a party child. An anvil drops for me when Ashley's dad calls Ashley "his favourite daughter". "I'm your only daughter!", she squeaks. Yeah, maybe not for long, ey? After a long hug with her father, we fade out into Ashley's room.
Ashley is strutting the Purple Venom World Tour vest that her dad had given her at dinner. Wearing the vest and a matching underwear set, Ashley struts in front of Spencer, who looks completely confused as to what she should be doing. Let me tell you the answer Spence, it's easy. Tackle her and sex her up! But before it can get that far, a breaking news story announces that Ashley's dad died in a car accident. Spencer comforts her like any girlfriend would do, but I bet she's also thinking she's never going to get laid again.
Spencer keeps trying to call Ashley, but to no avail. At school, Aiden tells Spencer that "she'll surface". How very comforting! Hell, even Madison was nicer about it. With condolences in mind, Spencer storms Ashley's fortress where she's flipping through pictures on her cell phone. Although she says sorry about wanting to be alone, she does shrug off Spencer's embrace to tell her that she needs space. She also strikes a low blow with, "If you really cared about me, you would just leave." Before she can move however, Ashley's mother is in the doorway to talk about funeral arrangements. The two argue and Ashley walks out on the both of them.
Ashley is walking down the strip in clothes that would make me think she could probably be a prostitute. The song she did a duet with her father is playing the the background. She makes it to Spencer's house without being molested, arrested, or maimed. She comes in with tears down her face, asking to see Spencer. Paula shows that she does have a heart somewhere in that bosom of hers and hugs Ashley against her. When Spencer comes down to take her place, she tells Arthur to set another plate.
A secret party was planned and Ashley is standing on the penthouse roof with a bottle of her father's ashes. She tells a rousing speech and tosses some of his dust in the wind. Her mother barges in to stop her while dragging along a young girl behind her. As it turns out, the girl is Kyla, she is also the rock star's daughter.
Back at Spencer's, Ashley is having problems processing the news and even though Spencer is trying to help, Ashley climbs down her throat as well. Ashley says she hates her father for this and Spencer hugs her.
Paula is snarking about how bad of a family Ashley has when Arthur turns it into a conversation about them. They both have at least one valid point. For Arthur, it is time for Paula to lay off all the Ashley bashing. However, Paula is also correct in knowing that Ashley wants to be more than friends with Spencer. You're still behind though Paula because you're a homophobe. Glen sees all this which only reinforces his hatred of Ashley.
Clay confronts Glen about why he's being such a dickwash, as if this is something new.
Dr. Ben: Homewrecker is trying to convince Paula to go out to dinner with him. How do you say no to your boss like that when you're in love with him? I mean, if you break up, are you going to get fired? I never really got how that worked very well.
Chelsea has a show at an art gallery, but she won't be attending because she's afraid. Clay tries to get her to go anyway.
Back at school with Spencer and Ashley, the two are walking in front of the lockers discussing the conditions of the will. The girls must live in the same town, stay in contact with each other, and go to therapy together. Ashley stuffs her prized vest into her mangy locker. They talk to Aiden and Madison, but Ashley storms off when Spencer makes the mistake of waving at Kyla. Poor Spencer, she's stuck in the middle.
I'll assume we're in the room given to Kyla in Ashley's big ol' mansion. She's listening to an iPod and looking through on of Ashley's photo albums of her and her dad. Ashley is understandably pissed at seeing Kyla go through her private things. Kyla tries to appease Ashley by telling her she doesn't ever have to worry about Ashley's mom pitting them against each other. Ashley doesn't care and leaves.
We're at goddamn Aiden's house and you know who is in the room with Aiden? Freaking Ashley. She's stressing about Spencer because even though she's trying to help, it's bugging her. Aiden tells her to lighten up, they have a mini play-fight which leads to ashley on her back and Aiden hovering to kiss her. She cuts him off by saying she's with Spencer, which was nice to hear. After a second attempt and a second refusal, Aiden moves. For some odd reason, Ashley still wants to stay the night with the pervert.
Before Aiden and Ashley pull up, we see Madison and Spencer standing on the front steps to King High. After a passing mention of Ashley, Spencer wonders why Madison cares so much even when she says she doesn't. Madison tells Spencer to stick around, that Ashley will betray her, as well. Probably and that's sad. Aiden and Ashley drive up in ashley's porsche. Ever judging, Madison wants to know why they drove together. Ashley mentions waking up at Aiden's place which pisses off Madison. Madison stomps off and Aiden soon follows. Being slightly more even-tempered and level-headed, Spencer asks if she spent the night with Aiden. She says "Yeah, but not like she thinks." The two lament the fact that they can not come over and comfort each other as much as they would like because of parents. It reminds me of my first girlfriend and I get sentimental.
Somewhere in the bowels of the school, Aiden is still following Madison around. Madison wants to know why he treats her the way he does even though they have slept together and should mean something to each other. Aiden tells her she's smart and beautiful, but that he doesn't have those feelings for her. She explains that you have to work at love, which makes it sound horribly dreary. Aiden leaves her to cry.
Spencer and Ashley are walking back to her unlocked locker as they are talking about Kyla and Ashley moving out because she is suddenly rich.
Spencer: Not until you're 18, remember?
Ashley: That's right. Thank you for completely destroying my fantasy.
Spencer: I'd be happy to help you with some of your other fantasies, if you like.
Ashley: Spencer Carlin, you're gay?
Spencer: Only with you.
And because heaven forbid these two kiss, Ashley opens her locker to find out the vest is missing. She then totally freaks the hell out, screaming at no one in particular. Spencer, always mindful of her girlfriend-ly duties, holds Ashley and comforts her. These two are never going to get it on again. Ever.
Apparently Ashley made it home alright as Glen, Chelsea, Clay, and Spencer are sitting around the Carlin table discussing Ashley and the locker thefts. Glen seems overenthusiastic about helping Ashley get her vest, but only because he'd like his pills back that were stolen from his own locker. Upon learning how psycho Ashley went, Glen snipes, "So is Ashley heading to Crazy Acres? Maybe they can fix that whole gay gene while she's there." Spencer refrains from chewing out his throat with her teeth. But there is good news, Sean has found out who has been taking everything. I bet Sean's grandpa was Matlock.
Night has come and Paula has decided that Arthur should sleep on the couch. Get that? Paula is the one cheating (or almost cheating/soon to be cheating), yet Arthur has to ride the couch? Hell no! Screw you lady. You don't want to sleep next to me? Get a hotel for all I care.
Clay shows Chelsea the pictures her took at her gallery showing.
Kyla is on the phone with her mom, crying. She calls Ashley and her mother evil. Aiden shows up to take her out for a burger so they can talk. Aww, Prince Aiden. Vomit.
Spencer gives Ashley back her prized vest. While I think this deserves a pretty nice kiss, we're left with a mostly "just friends" hug. How magical and wonderful. Ashley was almost a slut in the first season, what happened? Is it Spencer's fault for the lack of affection? I need some goddamn affection between these two ladies!
2.8 / 4.0
Spencer/Ashley Apology Count:
Spencer: 0
Ashley: 2 (Sorry for not letting Spencer in the house to comfort her. Also sorry for not letting Spencer help her.)
Synchronized: 0
Man, the rest of these episodes I'm having to watch on TV, which irks me only because I cannot type without occasionally looking down. Yep, years and years of online-iness and I still can't type.
Behind the Music:
Aiden and Spencer are talking about planning a surprise party for Ashley at Gray's. Where else? Aiden prefers to picture the ladies together in Vegas, as do I. Ashley comes up and asks if they are talking about her and when Spencer answers confirmative, Ashley gives her a sexy wink. She wants to know if anyone has seen the camera crews for VH-1's Behind the Music, as her mother gave them permission to follow around Raife Davies daughter. By the way, I had to go back and watch the "Ashley half-naked, dressed in a vest" scene to catch the spelling of his name, as IMDb lists him as "Danger Davies". What do you mean you don't feel sorry for me? Back to school, Kyla comes up to the group to inform Ashley that she forgot to wait for her. Really? I wonder why that is. Soon, a cameraman walks over to them and as Ashley goes to introduce herself, the cameraman focuses in on Kyla and starts filming. Ashley is fuming. Kyla is embarrassed and Aiden is a dip, waving to the camera.
For some reason, we're at a kickboxing gym watching Aiden wail away on a punching bag. Not to be a gym snob, but he's punching the bag like a wuss. Aiden and Kyla are discussing Kyla's right to bear arms when it comes to Ashley.
Aiden: You guys are gonna be okay. Y'know, she's tough but she'll loosen up.
Kyla: I'm not worried whether Ashley's loose enough or not.
Ashley: Heard that.
Ashley freaking appeared out of nowhere. Why the hell is she in Aiden's gym? Aiden wonders the same thing. She was looking for Kyla, perhaps to make nice? Yeah right, Ashley tells her to quit invading her life and when Kyla makes the grievous error of calling her "Ash", Ashley denies her of any common naming practice usage and tells her to take her "bastard ass" home. As much as I like snarky Ashley, the bastard line kind of crossed into a not-as-lovable territory.
We see Madison walk to her car and take a carefully folded newspaper out from under her windshield wiper. Before she can do anything other than sigh heavily and roll her eyes, Glen is right behind her. They exchange pleasantries and Glen tells her that he would take her back, especially since being dumped by Aiden. Duck, fool, she's going to hit you! When she blows him off, yet again, he grabs the paper from Madison's hand.
Glen: Your dad stole from a charity?
Madison: It's just lawyer's spin, it's fine.
Glen: Riiight.
Man, Madison can not catch a break. Everyone thinks she's a bitch, she got dumped, and now her father is an embezzler. Not even one of those cool embezzlers, who take from Wal-Mart or something; he ripped off a non-profit agency. If it was the Red Cross, I'm kicking some ass!
All the Paula-approved people are hanging out at the Carlin's house while Arthur cooks dinner. Chelsea makes the mistake of feigning interest in Arthur's Peace-Corp, basket-weaving background and is stuck listening to him ramble about losing his passport. The smart ones, who all ignore Arthur, are in the living room deciding who should be invited to Ashley's surprise party. The conversation turns to Aiden liking Kyla. Chelsea has managed to escape Arthur's clutches and sits next to Clay. Glen comes in and says he'll be at the party, threatening to crash it if they don't invite him. My god, with homophobe Glen there, we will never see them dirty dancing! Cripes. Glen, crap out your other leg, go away. Paula asks who is staying for dinner and when Chelsea says she is, Paula exclaims, "Good. It'll give me a chance to catch up with my favourite couple." Chelsea and Clay take this time to "Awww" and smooch, while poor Spencer looks all dejected on the couch.
The next day, probably looking for some sympathy, Spencer tells Ashley what happened. Looking to steer the conversation back to her, Ashley says it's sucks, but it's what happens when you're in the closet. Which, while true, is an obnoxious thing to say to your obviously distressed girlfriend. Ashley starts to blather on about how much Kyla sucks. Yeah, we know, you don't like her. Ashley also seems completely disgusted that Aiden may like Kyla. Why the hell do you care so much? When Spencer mentions that they have a dinner reservation for her birthday, Ashley looks like she ate a bug and tells Spencer she would rather not celebrate her birthday. What a bring-down.
Aiden's laying on a bench with an AP Calculus workbook over his face. I refuse to believe this guy is in AP anything, let alone AP Calculus, unless AP means something different since I was in high school. Anyway, Kyla has gotten Aiden's e-vite to Ashley's party and refuses to go as she doubts Ashley would really want her there. She's a smart cookie. Unfortunately, Ashley comes upon them as soon as the words "Ashley's surprise party" are spoken, which causes Ms. Ashley to enter into mega-bitch mode. Shit, Kyla can't catch a break either. Here's the thing though, Aiden trying to push them together is idiocy. They'll get along (or not) on their own time, it's really none of Aiden's business if the two hate each other. In fact, shoving them in each other's faces is only bound to cause more problems. Kyla and Ashley should both punch Aiden in the face. Next season, huh folks?
Ashley has stormed off with Spencer playing catch up while apologizing, saying she'll cancel the party. Ashley tells her not to, which is nice, for once. As they are walking into a hallway, Ashley grabs Spencer's hand and tells her she's being great and to show her immense gratitude, Ashley kisses her. Let me tell you, I totally saw Ashley's tongue. I think Spencer's mouth was clamped shut so it didn't go anywhere, but it was a nice effort. As luck would have it, a VH-1 cameraman is right behind them, calling it gold. Spencer looks terrified, Ashley only looks irked at the interuption. Same here, lady.
Sean and Aiden, along with misc. male extras, are in the locker room. When Sean mentions Kyla, Aiden says he's being nice to her for Ashley's sake. Sean believes this about as much as I do and wonders how he got to be so whipped. He also tells him to be careful coming between those two girls. And speak of the devil, Kyla comes bursting into the locker room to tell Aiden she's not going to the party. Shoot, Kyla would have been suspended if she had done that at my school. Aiden gets on his knees to beg her to come to the party. Seans walks by and looks at Aiden pitifully. I know Sean, you were right, he's completely whipped (by four girls even). Aiden, I know you want to jump her bones, but enough with the Ashley/Kyla thing. Yarg!
Spencer is trying to get the tape with the kissing on it back from the VH-1 dude. She goes so far as to indirectly suggest that her parents do not know about the Ashley and her thingy deal. In other words, she avoids actually claiming any gayness to the man who saw her kissing a girl. He refuses to give the tape back, she calls him an ass.
Before the party, Madison is getting her lost jacket back from Cat, the bartender at Gray's. Cat thinks it's time for Madison to pay off her tab, which must be monstrous even though she's not old enough to drink. Cat suggests Madison work at the bar to pay off her debt. Madison almost passes out from disgust at the thought of working.
Spencer and Chelsea are in Spence's room where Spencer is trying on outfits for the party. Spencer tells Chelsea how perfect she is for her brother, while Chelsea tells her it's nice what she is doing for Ashley.
Spencer: Yeah well, she's my best friend.
Chelsea: Isn't she more than just a friend?
Spencer: (staring) Uh yeah... Yes!
Seriously, Chelsea is probably the coolest person (other than Spencer and Ashley) on this show. Spencer had a completely awesome person to come out to. Chelsea thinks they are adorable together and Spencer makes Chelsea promise never to tell, as none of her family knows. Except Clay, who was out eavesdropping in the hall, but probably knew anyway. Yay! Spencer's officially out and admitting her relationship with Ashley!
Paula is late. Arthur is bitter. Paula thinks Arthur should stop being mad at her. Riiight.
Party time! Everyone's dancing. Ashley and Spencer actually look like they are enjoying their time together, when who walks in? Aiden and Kyla. Even Spencer knows the shit is going to hit the fan. Kyla claims to know when she's not wanted, as she leaves, yet you would think she wouldn't have come in the first place if she did. Aiden tries to say it's about Ashley and Kyla, but Ashley tells Aiden it's all about him. Damn straight. Before anyone else can reach her, Madison lets Kyla in on the sorted history between Aiden, Spencer, and Ashley. Kyla storms off, but Aiden talks her into a ride.
Ashley is in a back room alone, trying to decide whether to delete her father's information off of her cell phone. It's really very sad and I like the song playing during the scene. But where the hell did Spencer go? We see her at a table with her brother, but why isn't she with Ashley? The VH-1 guy enters the party and Spencer gets all tense and explains to Clay what happened. Clay, being the smart one, tells the guy he can't use the tape without permission from the parent's of a minor. The guy gives the tape back claiming it didn't make the cut anyway.
Back at Davies' Manor, Kyla and Aiden are sitting on Ashley's bed, going through an old scrapbook of the two of them together. Jesus, you two, do you never learn? Could you not have taken the scrapbook to another room or something? Or perhaps, don't look like you're about to make out on her bed. Ashley is understandably pissed. Kyla denies that this is all about the money and that she just wanted to know more about her father. Ashley puts in the cut footage from the VH-1 special where Raife mentions both daughters. The girls glance at each other and Spencer asks for them to have a moment. Aiden goes with Kyla, Spencer comforts Ashley, who just wants her father back. Aiden is busying trying to convince Kyla to stay when Ashley appears in the doorway. The two decide to try to get along better for the sake of their father. We also find out that it wasn't actually Ashley's birthday today, but Spencer and Aiden went through so much trouble, she didn't want to tell them. Ashley has a heart of gold, people, and it makes me sad that no one seemed to know it was not actually her birthday. 3.2 / 4.0
Spencer/Ashley Apology Count:
Spencer: 0
Ashley: 0
Synchronized: 0
When you start to actually quantify the apologies in this show, it seems like they rarely apologize. However, when you're just watching the show, it seems like they are always apologizing to each other. Maybe it's noticeable because it usually involves a moment when they should be smooching it up afterwards, yet often aren't.
I really liked this last episode, if only because Spencer got to come out to Clay and Chelsea, who accepted it like the awesome people they are. I could honestly do with less of Aiden trying to force Ashley and Kyla into a relationship when they clearly need to work that out on their own. I would still like to see Aiden get punched in the face for being so damned meddlesome when it really shouldn't be any of his concern. I'm also a little sad that poor Kyla gets saddled with this doofus. She has dubious taste in men, apparently. Small aside: I would not mind being the filling in a Kyla/Ashley sandwich or the topping on an Ashley/Kyla/Spencer/Madison/Paula/Chelsea sundae.
Meow.
It also made me really sad that no one seemed to realize it was not the correct date for Ashley's birthday. I can maybe see Spencer screwing it up, but both Madison and Aiden have known Ashley for years yet still didn't bring up the fact that her birthday was still a month away. I generally forget the day of birthdays, but am pretty good at remembering at least the month. Then again, I only remember birthdays when they coincide with something/someone dramatic in history. My best friend in high school shared the date with France's Bastille Day. An old girlfriend had the birthday of Pol Pot.
Guess Who's Coming Out to Dinner:
Not Spencer, har har! Christ, I will really try not to ramble as much with this episode. With that said, this one will probably be twice as long as the others.
Our girls are having a little evening date at a closed petting zoo. Instead of groping each other and rolling around in hay, they are sipping on stolen beers. The one chance at a kiss is interrupted when Aiden and Kyla stroll in and the girls hide behind a fountain. It seems Aiden and Ashley have done this before. What a surprise. Heaven forbid something not include Aiden. Ashley overhears Kyla's talk of virginity and just can't stand hiding the sluttiness that is her sister. I have no idea how she knows Kyla is a whore, considering they don't talk, but I think this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black. You're both tramps, girls, it's okay.
The next morning, before school, Ashley is pissing and moaning about Aiden dating Kyla. Spencer finally mans up and tells her to knock it the hell off and that we're tired of her obsession with Aiden. I mean, she's not my type, but Spencer is pretty hot and if you're pining for a dude when you could be getting into her skirt; you're probably playing for the wrong team anyway. While they are having their daily spat, Paula comes in to tell Spencer she's set her up on a blind date. When spencer doesn't shout out her love of all things Ashley, Ashley gets even more pissy which causes our first "I'm sorry" of the episode.
Chelsea is excited about a large envelope from an art school and shoves the envelope into Clay's hands. Clay is confused, as seems to be the norm for him. She's been accepted to an art school in Paris. Maybe there is something about art school in Paris that is different from the States, but I have one piece of advice: Don't go! Art school blows and let me tell you, an art degree means nothing! To anyone, anywhere. Especially if it's art with actual materials and not computer-aided design. Chelsea, put down your paintbrush and grab a Wacom stylus. Trust me. Anyway, Clay is understandably depressed. They've been together for what, three months now, surely her life must now revolve around him! Sean just yammers about French film and tells clay to quit being so self-centered. And whiny, don't forget whiny.
Oh good, now it's Glen's turn to bitch about something. It seems he won't be getting any scholarships because of his botched knee and his inability to pass a physical. Madison takes that as a come-on, but as she walks away, Glen pops a pain pill. This is important. It's why we got a close-up of the pill.
Now, Kyla is explaining her ex-trampitude. Oh, she loves sex, Aiden, just not with you. No worries though, man, all the girls fall for you eventually. And just to equal the hate out, Kyla, you can't be a born-again virgin. Ashley overhears this and is just as disgusted as I am.
We're in Spencer's bedroom and it's all very chaste and they're still talking about Aiden and Kyla.
Ashley: Gah, Kyla is so fake, even her hymen is faux. That's it, I'm laying down the law. He can't see her anymore.
Spencer: You're what?
Ashley: Well, she wants to save herself for marriage and I'm saving him from her.
Spencer: Look, I think we're all sort of adults, I mean, we should be able to choose who we go out with.
And right on cue, Mama Carlin walks in the door, turns her nose at Ashley and tells Spencer her "date" should be there anytime. This is a hint for Ashley to get the hell out. With Paula gone, Ashley loudly wonders when Spencer is going to own up to their dating, as she doesn't want to be a secret anymore. Spencer counters with another mention of Aiden and Ashley storms off. This would be a little less frustrating if there was some "making up" involved, but there never is, so I am growing tired of teenage angst. Before she can chase Ashley down the street screaming apologies, Patrick has arrived.
Patrick: (to Ashley) Hi, I'm Patrick, are you Spencer?
Ashley: No.. but you might want to come in, because she's not coming out.
Oh Ashley, you charming rogue. I would totally come out for you. Well, again and if I wasn't afraid you might have herpes. (Triple word score!)
The Carlins and Patrick are having a nice, uptight, super-religious evening and it reminds me of the phase my younger sister is going through and it frightens me a little. After dinner, Spencer and Patrick relate to the fact that their parents don't like the people they are dating, although Spencer never mentions that the hot chick who stormed past him is the person her mother disapproves of.
Ashley is at Gray and Cat, the philosopher she is, sets Ashley straight. Um, no pun intended. Glen is getting it on in the bathroom, but not getting it up. Madison is appalled, even if it was because of the pain pills Glen keeps inhaling. I told you that close-up was important!
I know Chelsea doesn't live by herself, so where is she painting? If she has a studio, I am jealous. Clay surprises her and they get it on, but I am pretty sure they might have forgotten something. (Actually, considering I have seen the entire season at this point, I know they are forgetting something.)
Spencer tells her mom that she didn't get along with Paula, but Paula insists there are other boys at their church she can get it on with, in so many words.
Aiden brings Kyla to the school gym where a creepy janitor lets them intto the building. Candles and a blanket are set up on the gym floor. Dude, maybe it was just my run-down, old high school, but I always found gyms to be.. odoriferous. Sweaty, hormonal teen bodies in close proximity do not exactly smell the best and I find nothing romantic about it. Kyla and I differ about this, it seems. They make out.
Back at Gray and still reeling from her aborted bathroom sex, Madison takes to giving herself tips on credit card receipts. Astronomical tips.
As Kyla goes to return Ashley's jacket, their mom pops in to invite Kyla to some sort of underwear fashion show. Ashley points out that it would probably be more her cup of tea, but she's having nothing of the sort. In fact, she mentions she may not even like her eldest daughter and that perhaps, she was a mistake. She says it a lot meaner, though, just to make her the complete bitch they are going for with Paula. Man, the writers must have mother-issues to work out. And yes, Aiden was also mentioned in this scene.
Arthur suddenly grows a pair and tells Paula to quit trying to "fix" Spencer and to maybe focus more on not having a horribly, ugly divorce happen.
Ashley is waiting outside of Spencer's house and for a minute, I think she's gone stalker-ish. However, Spencer goes sneaking out of the door and the two have their heart-to-heart about Spencer coming out and perhaps it's not the right time to do so. They share a peck and bump heads and from his post, Glen slams his bedroom window, disgusted. Me too, man. Bumping heads? Honestly. 3.0 / 4.0
Spencer/Ashley Apology Count:
Spencer: 1 (Sorry for not telling her mom they were dating while being informed of her blind date.
Ashley: 0
Synchronized: 1 (Ashley is sorry for storming out and Spencer is sorry for not telling her mom.)
What do actors swallow when they are supposed to be taking drugs? Also, I am starting a little drinking game for next season. For every shot of highways or cars, students or that blasted refuse truck, I am talking a long swig of something 80 proof. For all apologies, I am going to just drink the bottle. I was going to add the mention of Aiden, but I really have no intent on dying by South of Nowhere's teen grip.
This is sort of off subject, but not really. After watching the commercial for the upcoming webisode where Aiden reveals which of the girls is the best kisser, he mentions that Madison had the best lips and she always tasted like candy. In John Mayer's "Your Body is a Wonderland", he mentions, "One pair of lips and your bubblegum tongue". The comparisons disgust me. I guess it's better than telling someone they have onion breath and need an Altoid, but I think I would just prefer if lips tasted like.. lips.
Rules of Engagement:
Coming Soon...
0.0 / 4.0
That is So Not Mom:
Coming Soon...
0.0 / 4.0
Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are:
Coming Soon...
0.0 / 4.0
TBA:
Coming Soon...
0.0 / 4.0
TBA:
Coming Soon...
0.0 / 4.0
TBA:
Coming Soon...
0.0 / 4.0
TBA:
Coming Soon...
0.0 / 4.0
TBA:
Coming Soon...
0.0 / 4.0
TBA:
Coming Soon...
0.0 / 4.0
TBA:
Coming Soon...
0.0 / 4.0
Write something...
0.0 / 4.0
|
|