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Love and Suicide
Are there any lesbian movies that end in a happy ending? I know I complain a lot about all the schmaltzy happy endings in every other type of movie, but for cripe's sake. Lesbian movies never end happily. The closest we ever get are endings like in Kissing Jessica Stein and while that was a lovely movie and I enjoyed it, it wasn't really a happy ending. I can't be certain how this movie is going to turn out yet, but the title certainly doesn't leave me feeling hopeful.
The opening scenes do absolutely nothing to quell my worries of a crap ending and actually increases my fear of horrible, student film acting. I am now extremely embarrassed for all people who participated in this and am actually blushing a bit. I do not know how much more of this princess/castle/queen bit I can handle. Yeah, I guess it was cute in the beginning, but after 10 minutes of it, I am trying not to stab myself in the ear with a nearby pencil. So this is the story of Emily and Kaye and their "friendship". After knowing each other for two days, they both decide to book it out of New Orleans and head up to Lake Charles. Let me tell you, having lived in Louisiana, someone who goes to Lake Charles expecting more fun than what they had in New Orleans is obviously a nun or Amish or something. How else would you explain leaving The Big Easy for freakin' Lake Charles? Upon heading back home to New Orleans and after parental scrutiny, the girls finally get around to telling each other that they "like like" each other. And because there is no slow setting on the Lesbo-train, they decide to get it on. This turns into every single other lesbian sex scene you've seen in movies. Hands are strategically placed on breasts, heads kiss down bellys but go off camera any lower, the sheets are wrapped around each girl individually, and their hair never goes out of place. To me, that has got to be the most boring sex ever and I would probably jump the Lesbo-train myself, if it was like that all the time. Yeah, I know they're kids and it's probably their first time, but I think that would be all the more reason for hair to be amiss, sheets to be tangled and half on the floor, and one sock still left on. As with all films featuring budding lesbian sexuality, there is one man who thinks that perhaps, he could change her because he loves her so much. I am curious as to whether the begging talk has ever caused someone to change teams or if this has just become the stereotypical male action? David yells and cries and yells again, "That he'll give her anything. Can she do that for you?" Well, if you count getting some vag, then yes David, she can give her something you can't.
From the movies I have watched recently, it makes me wonder if the generation of young people behind me are all mentally unstable. In high school, yeah, I went through the hide the lesbian thing when I was with my first girlfriend, who couldn't be out. After we broke up, my best friend at the time and I both wore "Don't Assume I'm Straight." shirts. I actively oogled girls and looked out for cute guys to send to my friend. He did the same for me, except obviously, in reverse. By the end of senior year, we had a huge Gaymo circle in the commons before school and at lunch. I mean, we were in no way shy about having people know we were gay. It was just known and that's it. But then something happened it seems, coming out now means losing friends and family, facing ridicule from your peers, maybe even violence. While the film industry is getting slightly better at having open-minded parents and family members, some sort of force always pushes the couple apart. For one thing, it makes it look like gay couples are weak and unstable and have no ability to fight for themselves. They obviously don't have much self-esteem and when something even questions the ideas they hold, the actions they are doing; they run scared. What this movie does is show that lesbians cannot have a normal, stable relationship. Lesbians cannot handle even the slightest of complications in their frail bond with each other. This is why, while I try to support the lesbian community, they are certainly making it harder for themselves. Most romantic movies, dramatic movies, even action could be made in to a "lesbian movie". For instance, Mr. and Mrs. Smith could have been two lesbians. You wouldn't even have to change the Mr. part depending on who you got to play the role. I guess I'll say more about this in my intro, instead of in the actual movie review.
As the two teens become close, outside forces are driven to prying them apart. After being called a dyke a couple times, Kaye gives in to the pressure, dropping Emily, and taking up with a dude. Even though towards the end you see some glimmer of hope for the two girls, it is soon lost with the call to Emily explaining Kaye's suicide. Which brings it around to Kaye's situation from the very beginning. Kaye got there in time to save Emily, but after ten years apart with no contact, how would Emily be able to be there when Kaye commits suicide herself? Honestly though, I haven't always been the most stable of people, but I certainly never tried to off myself after being dumped. I do get that sometimes, this scenario does indeed work out and someone is so wrecked they feel they have no way out, but why is it they use that scenario for every single lesbian movie? The pair could be so close, conversation was good, trust was good, sex was good, then BAM! Suddenly, one of them doesn't love the other the same way they did. Yes, yes, it happens. But does it always have to happen? It really bothers me.
Being typical lesbian dreck and having actors you pulled from street beforehand, I sincerely cannot recommend this movie. It's full of angst. Not just angst, but teen angst. Even then, it's not just teen angst, it's lesbian teen angst. And for me, well out of my angsty teen years, I could barely tolerate watching this. I will admit, while the one sex-type scene didn't do much for me, the two actresses certainly didn't seem to mind kissing each other and that's a start. But really, this came down to a girl wants girl, girl gets girl, girl dumps girl, girl gets suicidal. At that, my friends, is why I ended up rolling coins during most of this movie.
0.6 / 4.0
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