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Karla
I watch shows like Forensic Files and Cold Case Files so much it may seem like I am just waiting for the moment someone in my family turns up in an interview or a body bag. I've seen all episodes of HBO's Autopsy probably, at least, three times. I have erotic dreams about Dayle Hinman and her body of evidence. Imagine my pleasure when I find out there is a movie version of one of the favourite Autopsy segements I have seen the most and found the most disturbing. The thought of drugging and helping rape one of my siblings squicks me out immediately. The fact that Karla and her murdering husband are called "The Ken and Barbie of Murder and Mayhem" makes me wonder what kind of sick version of these toys have the producers and journalists been playing with? For those who have no idea who Karla Homolka and her husband Paul Bernardo even are, here is the short version of their story. In the early 90s, Paul and Karla took on the roles of rapists and murderers of local girls around their home in Ontario. One of the victims was Karla's own sister, who she drugged herself using animal tranquilizers from her work. After helping police with information about Paul, she was only imprisoned for 12 years. She was released on the 4th of July, 2005 and is roaming about Canada. Laura Prepon stars in this retelling of her story.
Within minutes of the title credits rolling, I realize something is going to bother me, probably throughout the entire movie. When showing videotape flashbacks of the murders, the woman who is playing Karla in them is not Laura Prepon. How difficult is it to fake home videos? They can forge photographs, but not video. All they had to do was use a crappy web-cam even, no one would have known. I have to admit, while starting to watch this, I somewhat expected a narrator to do a voiceover during some of the background shots. While even during actual home videos Karla Homolka seemed almost dull, Prepon is actually making her somewhat unbearable. I only know her from That '70s Show and even then I didn't watch her, but I'll have to assume she's just not that great of an actress. As we're shown more of the couple's initial thoughts on raping Karla's sister, the story makes it seem like Karla had dangerously low self-esteem and was quite delusional in her obsession with pleasing Paul. I cannot be the only one whose first thought would be a kick to the pills and a bat to the skull of any male who suggested I help him drug and rape my sister. In fact, I wouldn't even want to know if he desired consensual sex with her. Whistling Christmas carols while drugging her drink makes Paul all the more disgusting. Tammy, Karla's sister, has apparently never heard the rule about mixing liquors. She's had numerous strawberry daiquiris, a few screwdrivers (laced with animal tranqs), and spiked eggnog (also laced with tranqs). She has the constitution of a grown elephant, for god's sake. That seemed like a ridiculous amount of work for 20 seconds of sexing. It makes me wonder if Karla is thinking about how her sister got about as much action as she gets. And then I feel horrible for thinking that.
After joining a friend in cigarette smuggling, Paul makes enough money to have all the free time in the world. This doesn't come as good news to random girls in their city. Upon buying a new place, the couple had plenty of room and opportunity to do their dirty, dirty deeds. I know rapists are sometimes unapologetic about the acts that they perform, but would one really come home after it and when asked where they have been, reply "Raping a girl."? I know he's not worried about hiding it from his wife, but that seems horribly blunt. I'm hoping his attempt at concealing one of the bodies was purposefully horrible because if he was actually trying to hide it, he probably should have made sure an entire foot was not sticking out of the concrete block. I can ignore or overlook a lot of cosmetic blemishes, but I think even I would notice a size 8 poking out. I could be wrong.
Towards the end of this movie, the story is less focused on Paul's kidnaping and raping and more focused on the constant violence he directs at Karla. I am not sure why this movie, or really even the Autopsy segment, is filmed in such a way that they try to make you feel some sympathy for Karla. Yeah, she got the holy living shit beat out of her constantly, but she did help him capture and abuse numerous girls. I would almost rather be stabbed in the eye than participate in any of the actions that are portrayed in this film. I actually feel like punching Karla in the face myself because she's being such a dumb twat. This movie was really long. It felt like an eternity until this was over. Considering the entire story was accurately displayed in a short Autopsy segment, this movie was over an hour too long. Now if you take in to consideration the fact that all of these actors are just not very good in the first place, this movie was an hour and a half too long. Throughout this movie, I wondered if the actual Karla Homolka has seen this movie and what she thought of it. I also wonder if she thinks Laura Prepon is too ugly to play the part. Honestly, for me, as long as they didn't get John Goodman to portray me, I'd be pretty happy with whomever they chose.
This movie was pretty damn horrible. If you can catch the Forensic Files episode or the Autopsy segment that describes the case, I would suggest those over the movie version. Mischa Collins, who played Paul Bernardo, was particularly awful and I will probably avoid any future movies he is in. I also won't be seeking out more of Prepon's work. I do get a laugh out of her extreme jump from one spectrum of human behaviour to the other, from a hippy chick to an abused murderer. I don't even dislike this movie for the reason a lot of people seem to, that it is sensationalizing Karla and Paul; I dislike it because it was boring and sloppily acted.
I hope to one day star in a low-budget telling of a serial killer's life. Maybe I can lead a movie as Kate in "The Bloody Benders: Kate's Kansas Kickass". I think Canada's film industry refusing to make this movie was rather funny. Honestly, it's not like the world will assume Canada is full of murdering blonde couples and the film didn't receive wide release so I don't think many people even saw this. Although, the American film industry makes all sorts of murderer movies and the world thinks we're all trigger happy, so perhaps Canada is on to something.
0.4 / 4.0
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