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Alien vs Predator: Requiem
So, Alien vs Predator: Requiem is my first real foray back into watching crappy sci-fi/horror films in the theater
after a lapse of many months. I took my father with me, mainly because with his failing health, he doesn't get out
much but he loves these types of movies just as much as I do. Sitting in a theater seat for an hour and a half surely
couldn't take that much out of him. Oddly, I was the one who fell asleep in my chair, even though the speakers were
set incredibly high. So very high. We were the only people in the theater and I was tempted to go ask them to turn it
down a notch or two. It made the entire viewing slightly uncomfortable for me, as I have pretty damn good hearing
already. Complaints about the theater aside, AvP:R could have been a lot worse.
The movie continues where we left of with the first AvP.
The new Alien-Predator "hybrid" has burst forth from the impregnated, fallen Predator on his home ship, grown up, and
has now decided to run amok on the ship. After firing rockets at the beast, one of the Predator creatures manages to
crash the ship into a woods in the United States. Of course, the aliens scatter and a second Predator jets off for
America to help take out the Aliens from which his previous compatriot fell. So Requiem, is really a story about a
Predator, some people, a bunch of Aliens, and one Hybrid. And to take a minute to describe this hybrid, if you want to
be surprised, stop reading here. The hybrid looked absolutely ludicrous. While Predator has dread-locks and an open
mouth structure, when combined with the Alien body structure; the creature came out looking like it had a mouth of
metal and sporting a Rastafarian wig. It was ridiculous. Had the directors kept the creature more in the shadow, they
probably could have kept a sense of tension, but they showed their hand 15 minutes into the movie. You can begin reading again here.
I commend the Strause Brothers for trying to use relatively unknown actors for the parts, but their inexperience tends to show in quite a few scenes. Any of the scenes where CGI will be involved tend to stand out and no one in the movie could pull of the distressed crying very well. And don't jump my ass and bring up people in here that have been in tons of things, I said most. I will also commend the Strause team for not pulling a lot of punches. Generally, pregnant women and children tend to make it all the way through to the end, by some grace of a writer's touch. Luckily, writer Shane Salerno, bucked this trend and killed a child within the first 5 minutes with face-hugging and chest-bursting. All very nasty stuff to happen to a child. I was cheering a little inside, thankful it wasn't a dog this time.
Of course, this can't just be a cheesy Sci-Fi movie, that can't possibly happen in this day and age. Now we have to make a statement. Jason doesn't just kill horny teenagers for fun! He kills them because he's very vocal about Planned Parenthood. Jaws attacks people because he's worried about all the pollution humans leave in her/his waters. This movie takes the high route and just blames most of it on the lying, scheming government. "Surely the government wouldn't lie to us. Surely!" Oh, and I think they were also implying something about the way we treat our homeless, perhaps suggesting we should offer them as the first sacrifices should we actually be invaded by kill-y, hurt-y things. At least, that's what I took from the movie.
All the gore and guns makes this movie a fun watch. The actual storyline doesn't really go that far, succeeding in only telling us these bad boys are on earth, although I was certain they made that point clear in the first AvP. The creatures do try to scare you, but it's mainly because of pop outs and noise, not actual tense moments. There are dizzying fight sequences that made my stomach go a bit squirrelly. I think it's because I couldn't really make out two distinct creatures in a film where everything is shot in almost pitch black and then they turn off the lights because pitch black wasn't black enough.
I think this movie could have been condensed down to a 30 minute sequence that should be added to the first AvP. The resulting product would be a very good entry into the "versus" arena. The fact that the Predator was more intent on kicking some ass and not making friends is what made the movie interesting. All this "Pick sides!" shit is retarded. Aliens and/or Predators are there to kick some ass, not have tea and scones! That being said, besides the hybrid, all the creatures and effects were pretty snazzy looking. You can tell the Strause Brothers enjoy the genre and I hope they do more in this field.
Small sidenote: I didn't quite get the blue goo that the Predator used to dissolve bodies. I figured it was used to clear away organic material, to leave no trace of either the Aliens or the Predator having been there previously. I get that they wanted no trace, but if the blue goo dissolved organic compounds (such as bodies and an entire pool of water), why did it leave the woods and sewer water intact? The "invisible" Predator also looked horrible when it was scaling the sides of buildings. Okay, I'm done.
2.5 / 4.0
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